good thing i went to see him. it made everything better. i'm just a wuss. it was a nice weekend. and this weekend is my birthday weekend. paaaaartay! i'm going to lima on saturday b/c we're having a class reunion.. not really but kinda. :) its going to be fuuuuun. hopefully we'll do something at our house for my birthday weekend!

july 7th!!!! my birthday

we have to be at work at 6 in the mo'nin now. ouch.

p.s. my eye has been twitching for 5 days now. its annoying!

bad days suck. crying sucks. going home to no one sucks..but going home to three kittens doesnt suck.

he called and said.. "guess where i am? niagra falls... and i  wish you were with me" 

i dont remember our last phone call.. what i said.. i just remember something sad happening .. going to sleep sad.. and waking up sad. and i'm not even on my period.

fuck being a girl!

i think i'm starting to get over alot of things. and it feels good. i found an old book of mine that i used to write in all of the time and i wrote alot of poetry.  i didnt even notice. but for some reason i cant get back into that... i thought that since for the last year its been the best time of my life that i would have these beautiful words to express everything but nothing was there.and you cant force it. i guess no words can describe our relationship. but every other word seems to fit. when you're in love .. there are no words to describe it. just what i feel inside. and i cant tell you with any words that you'd ever understand exactly how i feel.

saturday night was awesome. lindsay, catie and i went party hopping. we had a blast and we should do it more. girls night out was the best thing to happen to me right now. i miss girls. and not having to care about other things/people around me.

sunday .. fathers day.. we took our dad out but he paid. and gave me more money. haha fathers day rules. rules? yeah i said it. but it was so frustrating. having to explain myself and my friends and my dad never understanding me. not that i care because i'd never understand him . it just drives me nuts when people make me feel like i have to give them reasons..and justify why .. why anything. just because ok.

late night drives back home always make me think. and cry. i listened to jimmy eat world and come to alot of conclusions.. now i just have to follow through.. i love life.

its not weird to say that it feels good to miss someone

I'm at work. I have cramps. i want to puke.

but the good news is i might.. unfortunately due to bad luck, get to see nick thompson tonight.

i hate my sub-conscience (if that's what this is due to). .. so last night nick called and left a message b/c i didnt hear the phone ring. i ran upstairs to call him and he had turned his phone off to charge. for some reason i needed to talk to him. but if i didnt i wasnt going to die.. i mean it was just in my head. so i fell asleep and every single hour (seriously, at the same exact time on the hour every hour) i woke up. so i finally got ahold of him. talked to him. and then after that didnt wake up again until the alarm. i guess i love that boy too much.

i've figured out one of our kitties is a runt. poor thing still has no control of himself. unlike the other ones who are progressing just fine. and i'm gone one day and come back and their eyes are open! they are adorable!!